voices
I'm getting crazy
I watch all of those weird movies and I see myself being the main character
Something is happenning to me, I can't explain it thou,
I wake up with bunch of notes written by pen on my body
I wake up with no memories from the day before
I'm lost
Lost somewhere in the universe,
trying to find hat kid inside me
fearless and strong tiny person who was so sure what she wanted to do,
well I think she's gone now,
Fucking burried herself in sadness and madness
To many feelings I had to hide,
to much anger I had to keep inside me
I have no feelings left,
but that bottle of wine is trying to win tis battle with a young girl inside me who still belives in herself.
Hope...........
2010-12-21 06:06:45 skomentuj (0)
voices
I'm getting crazy
I watch all of those weird movies and I see myself being the main character
Something is happenning to me, I can't explain it thou,
I wake up with bunch of notes written by pen on my body
I wake up with no memories from the day before
I'm lost
Lost somewhere in the universe,
trying to find hat kid inside me
fearless and strong tiny person who was so sure what she wanted to do,
well I think she's gone now,
Fucking burried herself in sadness and madness
To many feelings I had to hide,
to much anger I had to keep inside me
I have no feelings left,
but that bottle of wine is trying to win tis battle with a young girl inside me who still belives in herself.
Hope...........
2010-12-21 06:06:05 skomentuj (0)
kolejny rok
So, my b-day was yesterday.
Nothing happened.
I spend the whole day watching grey's anatomy and eating salads, still feeling guilty about that.
I was suppose to loose some weight.
But I'm still fat.
Whatever, I still have my liquor that helps me forget
I couldn't stay home the whole day, couting the blessing and thinking what I should do with my future to make me a bette person
I went out at 10pm!!!
Came home at 4am
Can't remember what happened in between
I remember drinks...lots of them...I remember strangers....Lots of them...and music
Today my mom, my brother and I went for a dinner
Had few drinks and tried not to eat to much so I wouldn't feel guilty
I really wanna loose weight
My mom bought me a skirt, thight..I wanna look perfect in it, be she herself told be I don't have the body for it...i know that, i'm not a girly girl, i have a guy's body, no hips, no waist
that was my b-day
now I'm still watching grey's anatomy and drinking pineapple malibu forgetting about everything I would normaly think about now
2010-12-03 04:54:51 skomentuj (0)
years after
nie pisalam tutaj nic mega dlugo. duzo sie zmienilo. ja sie zmienilam. jestem ta sama osoba na zewnatrz, wewnatrz zanikam c raz bardziej z dnia na dzien. patrze w lustro i zamiast usmiechu czy lez widze pustke. moja dusza umarla gdzies po drodze...moje oczy nie odzwierciedlaja nic....
to ja. ja zostawilam Ciebie.ja zdecydowalam ze ten zwiazek nie ma sensu. i to teraz ja cierpie. a ty jestes szczesliwy. ironia.
maya. lec dalej do przodu...
2010-10-25 08:51:15 skomentuj (0)
After a while...
Czasem nawet ja potrafie byc smutna i za kims tesknic. Teraz juz blizej konca niz poczatku. Nie odliczam dni, bo nie jest zle. Znow mam to uczucie ze na chwile chce sie przytulic, pocalowac...na chwile. doslownie minuta. nic wiecej. poczuc to szczere cieplo ta prawdziwa milosc bliskich. nawet jego...tesknie czasem za nim tez. byl wielka czescia mojego zycia. tak naprawde pierwsza miloscia. chyba. skoro nawet po tym jak sie to wszystko skonczylo o nim mysle chyba znaczy ze byl dla mnie kims naprawde wyjatkowym. Nie chce teraz nikogo. Chyba mi dobrze byc sama. Cos w tym jest. I need to fix myself now :) Maybe one day I'll be perfect...maybe...
I really miss my ppl!! Love you guys :*
2009-05-30 10:13:56 skomentuj (0)
After a while...
Czasem nawet ja potrafie byc smutna i za kims tesknic. Teraz juz blizej konca niz poczatku. Nie odliczam dni, bo nie jest zle. Znow mam to uczucie ze na chwile chce sie przytulic, pocalowac...na chwile. doslownie minuta. nic wiecej. poczuc to szczere cieplo ta prawdziwa milosc bliskich. nawet jego...tesknie czasem za nim tez. byl wielka czescia mojego zycia. tak naprawde pierwsza miloscia. chyba. skoro nawet po tym jak sie to wszystko skonczylo o nim mysle chyba znaczy ze byl dla mnie kims naprawde wyjatkowym. Nie chce teraz nikogo. Chyba mi dobrze byc sama. Cos w tym jest. I need to fix myself now :) Maybe one day I'll be perfect...maybe...
I really miss my ppl!! Love you guys :*
2009-05-30 10:13:18 skomentuj (0)
title??
Na swiecie sa miliony osob ktorym wydaje sie ze chcialaby byc namoim miejscu. Zal mi to mowic, ale nie chcecie...zajecia? wypas!! koniec.................. jak mozna byc tak oschla i egoistyczna osoba zeby nie chciec, aby mezczyzna ktoremu jako jedynemu w zyciu powiedzialas ze go kochasz, przyjechal do Ciebie. Przytulil. Pocalowal. Abym znowu poczula to cieplo.
papieros.wino.wygodny fotel.maly balkonik z widokiem na wielki napis HOLLYWOOD. to moja rozrywka na dzisiejszy wieczor. would I ever be able to accept myself for who i'm acctualy am?? singing song to the moon...screaming at my mirror reflection.me...?
2009-04-26 08:52:30 skomentuj (0)
